My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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