Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
