things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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