How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize