i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
