between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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