Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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