dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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