New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Do vagina's smell?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
