Where is the hickey?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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