She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
