Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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