So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
