You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
