I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
