How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
