yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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