The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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