i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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