I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
