Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
