i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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