Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
