Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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