Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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