We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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