Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
