Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
