You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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