life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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