he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Green mimosas i think yes
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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