We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
