Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
