i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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