she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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