saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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