So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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