Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
