Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
