Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
