i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He better not be in your backpack
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
