oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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