Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
