Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
