I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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