idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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