I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
