turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
