I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
