i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
