He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
