Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
