is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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