Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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