yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize