If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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