We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
