A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize