dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
