i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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