At least make sure they are 18
Why
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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