Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize