he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
