it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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