Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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