And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
