Can i not drive my cunt home
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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